Pledge of Adoration
by Akazato
Summary: MIMATO A rainy day before the end of school, spent together by Mimi and Yamato. She's got this one day to let him know how she really feels before school is out and he's Sora's forever. But can she do it? Will it even make a difference?


(PLEDGE OF ADORATION)

xox

It had been a lazy day. They'd spent the day at the park swinging and being kids on the playground equipment. Thursday; tomorrow was the last day of the school year. Mimi had awoken this morning at the sound of her cell phone ringing in the dark. Yamato. He told her he didn't feel like going to school today.

That was all she needed, and the plans were set. They'd skip together. She didn't question why they weren't going, or why he wanted to spend the day only with her. She didn't care. At this point, she'd do whatever he said.

She thought it was odd, but she didn't say anything. She was thrilled and excited. They'd never spent the whole day together alone. They'd usually be with the whole group. They'd spend half days, hours, minutes, but never a full day together. She was anxious.

They were only close friends. Sora was his girlfriend, not Mimi. So she wondered why he'd spend all his time with her and not his own girlfriend. But again, she didn't care why. She knew that today was her last chance. Today she somehow had to get the courage to confess her feelings for him. She had to somehow convey all her pent up emotions for all these years to him. And make him believe it.

She was scared. She had no idea how to go about it. No idea what to even say. She didn't even know if she could do it. She could picture exactly what would happen. And she replayed it over and over in her head as she got ready to go that morning. Her movements seemed sluggish as her thoughts circled around continuously in her head. She seemed oblivious to anything else, her eyes unfocused on the clothes in her hands.

xox

They'd spend the day doing various things, whatever they were, and she would never bring up the subject. Never even give a hint or touch upon anything close to it. But the whole day she would only think of that. She would try a million times but fail before she could even form the words with her lips. They would crumble in her mind and torment her all day.

Then when their parting time finally came, she would be watching him walk away. Out of her life. All of her hopes trailing behind him and dissolving into thin air with every step he took to increase the distance between them. Her heart would be racing, her head would be screaming, her feet aching to follow after him. To run. Catch him.

Then she would call out at last his name as her voice trembled, _"Yamato."_

He would turn around, a casual look upon his face. An unknowing one. _"Hm?"_

Her voice would cut off. _"I-"_

He would smile. _"What is it? Spit it out."_

Her true feelings would fail her and her heart would drop. _"I just want to…to tell you that I had a great time today."_

He would give a slow nod. _"Yeah."_

"_Have a…"_ The tears would threaten her but she wouldn't allow them to flow. Then she would manage a fake smile. _"Have a great summer with Sora. Have fun."_

"_You too, Mimi."_

Then he would leave. Forever.

xox

Yamato was a senior while Mimi was only a junior. Taichi and Sora would also be leaving this year. Mimi thought of them as lucky. They'd all finally be done, leaving. Together. She would be stuck with one more year, she would be alone. They would all go to college next fall and she would just be starting her senior year. She thought it was entirely unfair.

She would've had all summer to confess her love to Yamato if it wasn't for Sora. Sora was taking Yamato away on vacation before their first year at college, said it was their reward. Mimi thought she did it just to spite her. No, she knew. Sora always knew she liked Yamato. She must have sensed her _now or never_ thoughts. She was being precautionary. She was ruining Mimi's life. She was taking her love away.

She hated her.

But there was nothing she could do about it, nothing to stop them. No way could she suddenly break them apart. And even if she could, it would all be totally pointless. He would still go away to college and she would still end up losing him. Even spending the whole summer with him wouldn't change a thing. It wouldn't make up for the lost future either.

xox

The day was hot, easing now into the cool of night and the humidity thick. The strong breeze made it exceptionally nice. The sky above was dark and looming. It was obvious a storm was brewing as flashes of lightning occasionally lit up the sky hidden behind the clouds. It was a ways off and no thunder could be heard yet.

Half the day was already spent. Now, they sat silently on the hood of his car, heads tilted towards the sky. The earlier part of the day had been full of sun and laughter. A stark contrast to the past ten minutes. Right now, it was overcast skies and broad silence between the two. As of yet, Mimi had tiptoed nowhere near the dreaded subject. She had tried to put it out of her mind, and had actually succeeded. Mostly. The impending end to their get-together inched closer and closer as night approached. She knew she didn't have much time…but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not yet.

Yamato's voice broke her dismal thoughts. "Do you like the rain, Mimi?"

She tilted her head to the side to look at him. He didn't look back but kept his gaze skyward. "In all my years of knowing you…I've never quite figured that one out."

She wondered if it was an actual question as he continued.

"Sometimes…when it's thundering and lightning, you get scared." He chuckled. "You sorta freak out. You hide for no reason. But sometimes, you freely walk, run, in the rain, uncaring. Then sometimes, you're complaining about hair or makeup…"

He brought his blue eyes to finally rest on her. "So," he said. "Which one is it?"

She smiled back at him, then answered, "I love the rain."

He raised an eyebrow, amused. "Love the rain, eh? Then you're gonna be in heaven soon."

They both raised their heads to the sky as a distant clap of thunder rumbled.

"You know…I'm not sure I've figured that out for _you_, either. Every time I've seen you in the rain, you're so nonchalant. You _seem_ like you don't care, but you've always got this frown on your face. Same for inside during a storm." She paused. "So, which one is it?"

"Me? I love the rain." He grinned mockingly.

"Then we'll both love this storm."

"I'm sure."

The first droplet fell, forming a dark spot on her blue skirt.

"Here it comes," she mumbled.

"Huh?"

"It's raining."

He tilted his head back again, a droplet sprinkling his lashes. "So it is."

Gradually, more and more drops sprinkled around them. Mimi sat cross-legged, resting her chin in her hand and playing with her hair. She barely noticed the increasing rain falling down on her. She kept thinking, _"It's now or never. We're probably going to leave soon. But we do have the drive back…"_

She didn't even notice as he slipped off the hood and stood in front of her. She nearly flinched from surprise. After staring at his outstretched hand for a moment, she took it with a slight blush and he pulled her to her feet.

"I've never seen you day dream so much, Mimi."

She held his hand for a moment longer, then remembering to let go.

"I'm…uh, just worried that's all."

He gave her a bemused expression before turning forward, starting their walk.

"Worried? What do you have to be worried about? It's the end of the school year."

She started to explain herself but couldn't find the right words. She could only think of, "Loose ends…"

He focused on his shoes as they walked. "I know what you mean. It's all kind of…hectic, isn't it?" He offered a smile.

She nodded.

On their leisurely stroll, she couldn't resist the beam apparatus that appeared before them. She stepped on to it with a giggle. She couldn't remember the last time she had come to the park and actually played. He followed her without a word. They steadied themselves, both arms out at their sides for balance as they walked across it. It slanted down and up, with four beams connected into one big rectangle.

"So," he started. "What's in your future, Mimi?"

She paused in thought before saying, "I've always wanted to be a chef."

He snickered. "Are you kidding me? You can't cook."

She reached back to swat him. "Says you. I'm a fantastic cook. Anyway, what about you Mr. Ishida?"

"Let's see…I could always be a chef, and outdo you. Or I could be a famous rock star and make you cook _for_ me."

"But I'd much rather be one of your groupies…" she joked.

"Whichever one suites you best." He shrugged although she couldn't see him. "Your future not mine."

"Whatever Ishida."

Thunder sounded in the sky and she jumped, losing her footing. A small gasp escaped her lips. As she thought she would surely hit the ground, she instead felt Yamato's firm hand on her arm, steadying her. She wobbled, turned to face him.

They locked eyes, his look serious. "Be careful."

She looked down at her sandal clad feet, changing position. "It's not that far."

He tried for indifference. "Still."

She turned back around and started again, but slower. "Anyway…thanks."

They continued in silence, with only the pattering sound of rain hitting the pavement and the howling wind every now and then. He followed her without question. Sure, he liked the rain, but getting soaked was not his idea of _enjoying_ the rain. He pushed wet hair out of his eyes and focused on her back. Her clothes –like his- were sticking to her body. He sighed. There was nothing more uncomfortable than wet clothes. He didn't complain until the sour taste of hair gel slipped down his face and to his lips. The rain picked up, their whole selves soaked now.

"Um, Mimi the rain is great and everything, but my hair gel is starting to burn me eyes."

She laughed, grabbing his hand and dashing to the waiting car. When they finally reached the dry shelter of the car, doors shut abruptly; their breathing was labored with laughs whenever they could get enough air. They sat in silence for a while, just catching their breath as they listened to the amplified noise of the rain hitting the car.

She smiled at the ceiling, cheeks tinged pink. "So this is what I've been missing. Spending the day with Yamato Ishida. _It's a thrill_."

She couldn't help but stare at him as she turned to face him. No matter where they were, what time of day it was, his eyes always seemed to be alight. She couldn't look away. Focus coming back to her finally, she realized with a sinking stomach; she was staring much too long. But so was he. She blushed and looked away, vanity remembered and back in full force.

She fidgeted with her hair, her skirt. "I must look a mess."

He then realized his own slip and stuttered as he struggled for cool and calm. "No, no…just different."

He pushed lean fingers back through his wet blonde locks, out of his flushed face. A soft smile pulled at his mouth. He couldn't think of a thing. With nothing to say, honesty came easy.

"No words Tachikawa…no words."

She turned in her seat to face him. He was focusing on the rain rushing down the window shield. She touched his chin, held it to make him face her. Felt him flinch. She grinned at his reaction. His cold eyes met her warm ones and held her gaze with chagrin. Obviously by the look on his face, unhappy with his reaction.

"Wow. It's not often to get not only a _blush_ out of Yamato-kun, but a _flinch _too."

He rolled his eyes but she held his chin in place as he tried to turn away. He looked away to the window.

She continued, her voice honeyed. "Why Yamato…I think I'm affecting you."

He turned to her finally, an evil grin on his face. Her smile fell flat. She wasn't even aware of her grasp nearly failing from that one look.

"Maybe," he told her.

Her hand dropped like a rock between them. Now it was her turn to blush, turning back and crossing her arms. He laughed and she turned even redder.

She found some confidence she thought had all slipped away. "Looks like we both got a reaction out of each other," she added with a smirk. "But," she faced him. "Mine was muchbetter. I got a jump. Just from a simple touch." Her smile was smug.

He wouldn't let himself be defeated as he clearly had been. He turned his full body to her, grasped her chin between his fingers and pulled her slightly forward. Closer. He leaned in so that their faces were merely inches apart.

He waited long drawn out moments before whispering, _"You're completely lost."_

She didn't deny it but just stared back into his eyes, paralyzed. The little distance between them was lessened in an instant. She didn't deny the lips he offered her either, eagerly kissing him back. She was lost completely. Lost, until she felt his smiling mouth against hers. She pulled back to see an arrogant grin and a soft laugh to go along with it.

She only turned back, opened the door, and slammed it behind her. Once outside, the cold rain pelted her bare skin hard, making her gasp. She leaned her back against the side of the car, arms crossed and a scowl across her makeup-washed face.

"_It was all a game to him,"_ she thought. _"Just having fun…darn it…"_

She felt about ready to cry. She felt weak. She knew she had no chance against him, couldn't deny his or her own feelings. She would do whatever he said, be with him and hurt Sora. She didn't care. But she couldn't let him get the best of her, show him her weakness. How she really felt. Letting it consume her and him both.

Greedy for him and only him. Right now that was all she wanted.

Things had taken a drastic turn. They actually shared their first kiss. Took a step out of their friendship and towards something more. But that wasn't possible. He was _Sora's_. Things just got a little out of hand, he just got carried away. After all, he had been with Sora for ages. But maybe what had happened was actually real, no ingenuity to be found. Maybe his boring Sora romance wouldn't last forever. She had to be sure, she had to know the truth

A minute, maybe two passed before he finally gave in and got out of the car, slamming the door in frustration. He came around to her side, laid his back against the car just as she had. She didn't even bother to look at him once as they stood silently.

Then she finally spoke, her voice sounding over the rain. "Yamato, is this a game to you?"

He laughed scornfully. "A game? It's not that easy..."

"Then what is it to you?"

"To me, it's having fun. That's why I asked to meet you today. I thought we'd have a great time together just goofing off. But now it's…escalated into something more. And I don't see it as a problem, but you do."

"Do you _care_ about cheating on Sora?"

With her words, she finally looked over at him and he grinned at the connection.

"I just couldn't help myself."

She narrowed her eyes, pushed off the car and quickly walked away. He watched her make her way down the path, stayed in his still position. He gritted his teeth, trying to make up his mind. She was frustrating the heck out of him, and if he went after her now, she'd surely make things even more trying, and more complicated. The way he saw it, everything was simple. No reading between the lines. She did too much of that.

Once she vanished from his view, he groaned aloud as he pushed his fingers through his hair again in aggravation. He cursed, kicked the car. He wasn't kidding anybody; he _had _to go after her.

He finally took off after her with a muttered, "Mimi…"

On her way, she pulled her long caramel hair back off her shoulders, knotted it in the back. She was tired of it getting in her way. Her sandals also proved an irritation. They kept squishing beneath her feet with every step, making a detested sound. She slipped them off and carried them in her hands as she walked barefoot the rest of the way to the picnic area in the distance. She sighed with relief as she finally reached the covered shelter, sitting herself upon the table. Her pink-tipped feet resting on the bench, she sat with chin in hand as she listened to the noise of the rain colliding with the roof above her.

After moments of staring into the distance of park before her, she caught sight of him. She watched him as he made his way up to her, stepping into the shelter and standing before her with his back against a support beam.

She sat up, the edge of her skirt fisted tight in her hand. She waited until they locked eyes before asking, "Do you love me?"

He hesitated, crossing his arms as he stalled.

She continued. "We've been friend for years. Do you love me?"

More hesitation before he finally gave an answer. "Yes."

She didn't smile like he thought she would. Her look was still grave. "Really?"

He groaned, looked past her, to the trees, to the ground. "Mimi..."

"Do you think I'm delusional? Crazy? Selfish to want you when you're me friend's boyfriend? Conceited to think that there's actually a chance for me and you to be together?"

He shook his head, couldn't meet her shining eyes. "Sora and I are going away for the summer. We've been together all through high school…."

"I know," she started, already on the defensive.

"But," he interrupted, "It's not like I don't have feelings for you. I do. I mean, how can I not? We're together all the time, you're beautiful, sincere, fun, incredibly sweet. I've always felt a little guilty for how I feel about you. Always wondered 'what if' And even at times wished it were you beside me and not Sora. But she loves me, she depends on me--"

"But do you love her?"

He paused. "I'll always love her. I think I loved her more at first. Now…now I'm second guessing myself. It's almost like I'm forced to see her, to be with her. And most of the time I'm looking for a way out….and I hate myself for that. I wish it wasn't true, but it is. And I know she loves me more than anything, she'd do anything for me. I'd just hate to be the one to break her heart. I don't want to be that person, Mimi."

"So you'll just overlook your feelings for me and sweep them under the rug like they don't even matter? Like I mean nothing to you?"

He raised his voice suddenly, and she winced in response.

"This is an unbelievable thing to throw at me! All that time, there was always that mystery, that something to hold me back from hurting her. It was always, _'What if she doesn't like me back? Unrequited love.'_ But now I know the truth and I'm faced with a decision, hurting one of you no matter which one I choose. How am I supposed to make a decision like that?"

She was speechless. Shaken. She had no idea what to tell him, he made a good point. What could she possibly say to him now? She felt totally helpless. She felt like all her hope had just been snuffed out. Her eyes burn, tears threatened to spill over in a rush of fresh misery.

"I-I can't tell you what to do. It's not easy for you, I know. But I love you and it's been torture seeing you and Sora together, inseparable for all those years. It killed me. Now I'm screwed. It's one day before the last day of school and you're gone for the summer and off to college." She paused as her suppression failed, hot tears gliding down her face. She wiped them away hastily and continued. "Why stay with her and suffer all those years ahead of you when you can be happy? Just please make up your mind before it's too late and I've lost you forever. Please_._ I know Sora needs you, but so do I_._"

He brought his eyes to her as she finished, his expression indiscernible. "What if I say no? That I can't leave her?"

She frowned, stared back at him hard. "If you say no…I'll go through life always wondering _'what if?'_ And so will you."

His look was hard and cold, void of all emotion.

"Mimi…I don't want to hurt you. Or Sora. But I have to, and I'm sorry."

"What-"

His voice was low but harsh. "I can't leave her."

Tears blurred her vision and she nearly screamed at him. "You can't really want that!"

"I've been with Sora for five years, Mimi. You and I have only been friends. What else am I supposed to do? You're being ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? Ridiculous for the way I feel?"

"What you want is more than I can offer."

She gave up all thoughts of arguing and just dropped her head to her knees. She hated herself for simply breaking down in front of him but she couldn't help it. The whole nightmare she had been imagining hadn't even come true. Something even worse had taken place. She had been rejected. To her, this was worse than anything else she could have imagined.

He watched her silently, listening to her muffled sobs with a blank expression. He didn't want to do this. He only wished she had never brought it up. She was heartbroken and would probably hate him forever. But he had to live with that. He could only imagine Sora in her place. She would be taking it even harder than Mimi. Seeing her there like that, he wondered if he had made the right decision. Would he be unhappy the rest of his life, living an unwanted life with Sora? Or would the inevitable eventually happen and he would break up with Sora, doing the same to her as he did Mimi? In the end, no one would be happy.

He cursed aloud, turning his back on her as he searched the dark sky. "Mimi, don't hate me for this."

His only reply was more grave sobs. But he noticed they were softer and abating.

She finally lifted her head, wiped at her face with her arms and turned her reddened eyes to Yamato. She stared at his back, her throat choking on the words she wanted to speak. When she finally managed to speak, her voice was yielding, and she found a slight smile pulling at her lips.

"This morning…when you called. There was no hesitation, no thought needed. I was thrilled you had actually wanted to spend the day with me. We'd never done it before, you know? I thought it was perfect…almost like a sign. One more day before the end of school and my secret love calls wanting to see me, _and nobody else_. Just me and you all day."

She narrowed her eyes on the back of his head. She wanted him to face her. She wanted to see his face.

"Yamato, I don't hate you."

He dropped his head, his back still turned.

She balled her fists on the table, bit her lip. She couldn't help but shout. "Yamato, turn around!"

He turned to face her, his look still the same as before.

"Do you know, I had this day all planned out in my head. I knew _exactly_ what would happen. We would spend the day doing whatever, having a good time. I'd never bring up my feelings for you, even though I'd be thinking about it all day. I'd watch you walk away, call you back, then watch you leave again. I'd never imagined a happy ending. And I think I always knew that we'd never really be together. But I had so much hope…"

"If you always knew…why did you come? Why did you let it go this far? Why put yourself through this?"

She gave a weak shrug of one shoulder. Then she looked up at him with a smile that surprised him. "There was always that nagging what if. I wanted to know what I was missing. Now I know, and it's still killing me."

"You'll never forgive me, will you?"

"I can't blame you for doing what you think is best. You had to hurt either me or Sora. And you chose me."

"I'm sorry."

She held up both hands by her head in surrender. "Forgiven."

"You don't really expect me to believe that, do you? After what I just did to you."

"Yamato-kun, I love you."

"...I know..."

She furrowed her brow with a frown, and then forced a meek smile. "You know, you're supposed to say, _'I love you too.' _Even if you don't mean it. Save the girl from the crushing rejection."

"I do, you know I..."

"_So embarrassing..._"

She squeezed her eyes shut as she bowed her head. Her insides seemed to be ablaze and her heart felt ready to explode in anguish. But she pushed all that back. When she lifted her chin, she wore a warm smile. His own smile he offered seemed forced as well. His azure eyes bored into hers and she found it hard to hold the connection without wanting to cry. She lowered her head again, stared at her dark skirt.

He stepped closer to stand before her, lifted her chin with his hand to make her meet his searching eyes. He found her on the verge of tears again. He took her hands and helped her down from her perch.

Once she was standing before him, he enveloped her in his warm embrace, hugged her to him tight. She buried her face in his shoulder, letting her tears come while he couldn't see. Her fingernails bit into his back as she held on to him.

"Yamato, you're killing me... I've waited too long and you're already out of my grasp. I can't do this, I just can't." She pulled away from him and walked off, back into the abating rain.

This time, he followed after her with no hesitation. Dashed after her and found her standing in the middle of the narrow path, waiting for him.

"I wonder…why you follow me."

He stared at her blankly, the cool rain only a drizzle now.

"Every time, even though we're not together. You follow me every time. Without question." She tried for humor. "I'm not your girlfriend you know."

He returned the levity. "Sora doesn't like the rain. She never goes out in it. And she never walks away from me. Ever."

"Never?"

He shook his head, grinned as he laughed. "What are we doing here?"

"We're simply talking, Yamato."

"How is it that…no matter what, you're always so nice to me? Why haven't you just given up?"

She shrugged. "Neither have you Yamato. Look where we are."

"But I failed…"

"I think we both failed. We both secretly came here for a real reason. But in the end," she stretched her arms out at her sides. "Look where we are."

"Nowhere."

Her arms fell back to her sides. "Exactly. We crashed and burned. All our hopes, dreams, plans, they all failed miserably. We're both unhappy, I'm crushed. We've gotten no where."

"What if I had said yes?"

"If you had said yes, we wouldn't be standing here right now."

"Where would we be?"

"We'd still be dry in that shelter over there."

He laughed. "Only dryer?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No, we'd be sitting together. Keeping each other warm. Happy. But now, we're cold, wet, and apart."

"How'd this happen so fast? How'd everything mess up so completely?"

"You told me you couldn't leave Sora and broke my heart. Now we're here."

"You told me you'd imagined me walking away, but then you'd call me back. What'd you say to me to make me simply walk away again? Why didn't I stay?"

"I yelled your name. You stopped, turned around. Then I chickened out and said I had a great time and to have a great summer with Sora."

"You always knew…"

"So did you. Yet you took everything to a whole other level. You had the same hope I did. But you failed to follow through. But we both still came."

"Maybe we both should have stayed home."

"Maybe. But then we'd never know what that 'what if' was truly like, now would we?"

"But our lives will never be the same…we'll probably never talk again after tomorrow, never see each other. You'll always secretly resent me. I'll always want what I lost. We'll never really be happy. We'll never live with what we did."

She shook her head. "We both know reality was always bound to set in eventually. What were we really expecting to happen? We'd ride off, forgetting all our friends, ditching Sora...to live our happily ever after?"

"We never really tried…"

"You already chose your path Yamato. It's over. There is no trying left, no more hope. You ended it tonight."

She looked to the dark sky, then back at him. "It's late. We should leave."

He nodded, began walking toward the car. When he realized she wasn't following, he turned around to see her retreating in the other direction.

He called out to her. "Mimi!"

She turned around slowly, faced him with a smile. "Yes?"

"You forgot to say goodbye."

"I didn't think we were going to do those. You know lovers always say goodbye, perfect romance...there's never an empty retreat."

"Then we won't."

"Oh it's too late for that, you already called me back."

They stood silently only staring at each other before he finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry."

She lifted a hand without a certain wave following. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Don't ditch tomorrow. I want to see you one last time…"

She smiled. "You know I'll always be waiting."

xox

A/N: The original ending was a happy one, but I decided it had to be a sad one shortly after… Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, and yes it's a one shot.


End file.
